If you give someone on a diet a muffin.

Yesterday, my daughter made delicious Elderberry muffins with streusel topping.  She knows that I am trying to lose 20 lbs, and am on a very STRICT diet.  But did she still make the muffins? Yes.  Did she use my kitchen? Yes.  Did she care? No.

So, pretty soon the whole house is filled with this exquisite smell of muffins!  She pulls them out of the oven and the steam is circling above them like little whiffs of temptation!   I walk through the kitchen floating on the scent as my body begs me to partake!

Then she has the audacity  to ask, "Mom, wanna muffin?" Simple as that, like it was no big deal.  I reply , "no."  Simple as that, no big deal.

She eats them in front of me, Yes, she does.  She keeps mumbling how delicious they are as she grabs another.  "Mom, you have GOT to just try these, they are so scrumptious!"  Then she proceeds to break a little bit off and dangle it in front of my face!!  Inside I was screaming,  I have been dong this diet for 8 days now and have already lost 4 lbs!!  Whoopee!!  I haven't had sugar or pasta or cheese or anything in the like for 8 whole days!!!   But to her I just very kindly decline.   "No thanks", I say.  "I am really trying to stay on this diet." " Hmph", she replies. .

Then, she is texting on her phone. "Who are you talking to?" I ask. She has just invited the neighbor down the street to come and eat muffins with her. Oh great!  But, I tell myself I am strong. I can resist!!  He comes and the both of them indulge in muffin eating with tall glasses of cold milk.  Again they both say, "Are you sure you don't want a muffin?"  "NO", I reply, "No,no Thank you."  I am being so strong and I pat myself on the back for resisting.

The next morning, I get up and stand on the scales.  I actually gained 1 lb.  What!  I am so discouraged as I go eat my protein and vegetable breakfast.  I am really getting tired of eating so much protein!!  After breakfast I go back to bed out of discouragement.  I fall asleep.  When I wake up I am feeling hungry.  It is time for my morning snack.  I think about the homemade jerky I had planned to have and my stomach turns.  So I start to mop my kitchen floor instead.  I pass the counter with left over muffins on it.  I resist.  I look at them again.  I'm hungry. There is no one around. I am ALONE with the muffins!  I pull it out of the bag, peel down the paper wrapping.  And then... I eat it!  At first the sweet taste of brown sugar and elderberries delight my palate!  I savor each bite with gratification and a little bit of satisfaction knowing I am being naughty.  Yes, I enjoyed being naughty while eating that muffin!  I'll show my stupid body for not losing any weight after all of my suffering!  HA HA HA!  and then, it was gone, simple as that.

I reveled in my delight a little longer.  But then the guilt starts to set in.  What have I done?  For a brief second, I even contemplated regurgitating it back up!  But I knew I couldn't go there.  So, I squirmed in my guilt for a while.  If I were catholic I would have wanted to go to confession. I had sinned, and now it was just too late to take it back. I am a loser with little self control.  I decide to tell no one!  Why confess what a horrible person I am? It is none of their business anyway!! Right?   So I blog it instead.  Only those who read this post will know what really happens if you give someone on a diet a muffin.